Hello Universe
What's this about?
A personal blog, a project, a mission. A place to join me in finding meaning and personal growth.
There are a few topics I am especially excited about currently:
The psychology of adult development
The nature of consciousness and its connection to spirituality
The field of software engineering
Where does this come from?
I think I am motivated both intrinsically and extrinsically.
Intrinsically by a drive for personal growth and development, and an innate curiosity. This comes in part from childhood trauma, interpersonal experiences through adolescence and adulthood, and my natural temperament.
Extrinsically by what I observe in people and the world around me. People are suffering, and it manifests in patterns like burnout, mental health problems, political polarization, conflict and tribalism on social media. It’s in large part a crisis of meaning in our society. I see how this is affecting my family, friends, and colleagues in my software career.
Taken together, I’m aligning on a mission to help alleviate this suffering in myself and those around me. The psychology of adult development, like Kegan’s Constructive-Developmental Theory, is a valuable lens through which to understand how people develop meaning, like a map to know the way forward. Spirituality is an essential element to know our place in the world, and its connection to mindfulness and consciousness is a powerful driver of meaning to explore. I hope I can make an impact starting with those who are more similar and closer to me, especially among my fellow software engineers, who are unfortunately known for being notoriously un-self-aware.
Who are you?
My name is Spencer. I'm a man in my late 20s, a Canadian, and a software engineer working at an AI startup. I often find it hard to describe myself in terms of my personality, beliefs, and values because they always seem to be in flux, closed off, or disjointed, which turns out to be explained in part by the psychology of my development, which I hope to write more about.
This could be an anonymous blog. I've considered it, because there is a certain vulnerability, some professional and reputational risk, in associating public thoughts with my personal identity. But in sharing these details, I hope to stay true to my mission, of which vulnerability driving connection is a crucial aspect.
Why focus on software engineers? Why me?
To borrow a quote I read recently in The Evolving Self on page 55:
Young Richie, his heart the same distance from the earth as his classmates’, was a far more effective “moral educator” than I, because his meaning-making was so much closer to, had so recently been identical to, that of the other kids in the room.
Being someone who is late in progressing through the stages of ego development, my optimistic view is that I am psychologically closer to others in the same situation, so I am able to better empathize and be of help.
What comes next?
I’m reading The Evolving Self by Robert Kegan, as well as learning about Lacanian Clinical Structures, specifically an expanded version of this theory which connects concepts of attachment, autism, personality disorders, and more into a more unified framework. This theory is in development by @TiffaniNWarren and her husband. A cursory introduction to the Detached structure, which I believe I have:
I want to write about these two theories, connections between them, how they relate to my life, and ultimately discover how I can progress. I am not quite sure what this looks like yet, but I am excited to find out.
Post ideas
An introduction to adult development under neo-Lacanian theory.
Discussion about the relation between autism, neurodiversity, and the tech industry. Pondering about why neurodivergence may be more prevalent, questions about disability, identity, and advocacy. What neo-Lacanian theory has to say about it.
Meditation, scientific Buddhism, psychedelics. What’s going on with this stuff? How does it relate to the meaning crisis?
On learning the skills necessary, the emotional and psychological literacy, to repair a broken family structure.
A psychological lens on interpersonal dynamics with tech companies.
What’s a Cosmic Tea Latte? 🤔
Cosmic latte is the average colour of the universe. Something something everything is connected…
Tea lattes are delicious (and the name Cosmic Latte is taken everywhere).
I just like it.